In this never-ending fast-paced world, where things are always on the go-go-go, it’s so easy to get caught up in our heads.
When things don’t go our way like losing a loved one, struggling to find work, ghosted on the fourth date (been there!) or battling an addiction, it’s so easy to fall into our comfort zone, beat ourselves up and play small. But how can we rise back up after a hard fall?
Some of us are not aware that we do have a safety net that can help us learn how to gain confidence.
What do I mean by that?
The perfect analogy is using a stress ball.
When we squeeze that stress ball, we are releasing some form of stress that has been built up throughout our day or even decades and that’s where we turn to comfort food, retail therapy, sex, drugs, alcohol, work and so forth to escape from our internal chaos.
We seek external resources to destress and instant gratification. However it’s not a long-term solution. This is where we need to create a ‘safety net’ which I call it, a self-supportive relationship.
The 3 Things You Need to Know To Build A Self-Love Safety Net:
1. Quality time alone without technology and distractions. Set some time alone each day where you can completely detach yourself from any form of technology and get connected with yourself surrounded in the beauty of mother-nature where we can feel abundant and supported.
It’s a vulnerable place to be with nowhere else to go but your thoughts and feelings. Research has shown that spending time in nature for at least 20 minutes a day can increase your serotonin levels. This is one of the steps of practising daily self-care.
2. Self-awareness is such a powerful tool that has been underutilised. There are different ways to raise your self-awareness such as reading self-help books, being present in a yoga class or seeking help from a life coach to guide you to your authentic self.
A great tool that Robert Kirby has taught me is to write down the thoughts of my inner critic and acknowledge that I am not my thoughts.
Our authentic self is not aligned with the inner critic or the ego and serves a greater purpose to step into our light, live life fully and give wholeheartedly.
3. Make meditation fun! When we think of meditation, we think about dreading to sit in a cross-legged position, eyes shut and trying to fight off our thoughts.
There are other ways to meditate like journaling your thoughts, reflective thinking, mindful colouring books, playing a musical instrument and really feel the rhythm or chanting at a Kundalini Yoga class.
The purpose of meditation is to be in the present by letting go of the past and the future. As Eckhart Tolle says, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”
Building that infrastructure of a self-supportive relationship takes time, dedication and patience.
Once you get into a daily routine, you will have a safety net to fall back on especially during those moments of setbacks and pitfalls and when you do, it’s a reminder that we have the opportunity to rise back up and live from our truth knowing that we are supported from within.
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Jessica Goh is not your ordinary life coach, she specializes in self-confidence and reconnecting with your highest self. She has helped men and women who suffer from depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, low self-esteem and mid-life crisis experiences. Her work has resulted in clients re-connecting a loving relationship with their parents, discovering their self-worth and happiness, letting go of past pains and reigniting to a life of appreciation and love, switching careers and increase of money flow in their career.
She writes confidence blogs for eharmony Australia and will be presenting her seminar, Restore Your Confidence & Inner Peace at Mind Body Spirit Festival in Sydney. Discover your authentic self at www.lifeinconfidence.com and email firstname.lastname@example.org to learn more about her work and upcoming workshops.