I Have A Dark Secret And Now Feel It Is Time To Share Not Control – Part 2

Empowered Woman

Today is 7th January the day I lost my dad 14 years ago and the day I start to look after my health, eat nutritious food and let go of my eating disorder. Today is a BIG day for me.

14 weeks ago I told some of my friends and wrote an article about having an eating disorder (not the usual kind) but an unhealthy relationship with food that had me controlling everything I ate.  (Check here if you want to read the full article).

I knew that I had to change the way I was living but I was not sure how. I felt like a hypocrite as I teach people how to heal.

I didn’t want to feel like this anymore, so I changed my mindset to; you studied about healing to heal yourself and you are helping others on the way.

I decided that I had to get my metabolism working and the only way to do that was to EAT. So for the last 14 weeks, I have been eating, like a normal healthy eater. 3 meals per day.

I’m not really a sweet tooth and I don’t eat processed foods but in that time I’ve put on 12 kg.  I feel like I’ve been blown up.  I feel really unhealthy but I know I have to start somewhere.

I knew it had to get worse before it was going to get better. It has not been easy and there have been lots of struggles in my head but I feel that I’m on the winning end.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel things have changed inside my head and things are much more positive now.

I have done lots of inner child work during my meditation times. When I first started talking to my inner child I could visualise her and she was still that frightened baby who felt helpless from being hurt.

She didn’t want to inflict the pain she was feeling on others but didn’t know how else to react so she would turn that anger on herself.

One day I was doing a course and hitting a foam cube with a baseball bat (as you do) and remember my inner child (baby) saying that she wanted to kill me slowly in front of thousands of people.

It goes to show how powerful the mind is because that is what was happening.

I was building a community of people who are looking at holistic healing but my inner child was not letting me heal, instead I was killing myself slowly with food (or lack of it and too much exercise).

After daily work with my inner child, one day I could not see my inner child anymore but I felt like she was stuck at being a teenager (which is funny as that is when most people develop their eating disorders).

I had some inner dialogue with my teenager and now I feel that the inner part of me is almost the same age as I am now and wants to be healthy, happy and have a healthy body that’s working. 

I have to let go of the way that I think my body needs to look. It doesn’t matter what size the body is. The way that I am feeling and being healthy is more important.

I feel that once my health is better and I regulate my thyroid, the weight will come off naturally because our bodies are meant to be lean and the weight is a symptom of being unhealthy.

I feel mentally that I have come a long way in the last few months.

I have been doing so much inner work, meditation, inner child work, affirmations to help me through this.

My permission statement that I say out loud every day (it is on my fridge and my bathroom mirror) has helped so much. Here it is…

I give myself permission to release the fear that the more I eat, the more weight I will gain. I love and accept my body and know that for my body to support me, I must support it.

I support my body daily by eating a variety of healthy nutritious food that fuels my body for the day ahead and allows my body to heal. It is empowering for me to allow my body to heal with time, food and love.

I am thankful for a healthy body and all the things that can do, and do it is.

So today I wake up and drink fresh lemon in warm water in the morning and I have three days of drinking blended veggie and fruit juices before going onto my healthy eating for life plan……

This is an unfamiliar journey and I am looking forward to getting healthy and feeling well.

You can find much more information on living a holistic lifestyle in these free magazines and on our YouTube channel.

Sharon WhiteSharon White

If you would like to learn more and work with me one on one I would love to work with you. I am passionate about people having a voice, being heard and creating the change you want in your life.

You can contact me at sharon@globalhealingexchange.com to see how I can help you. Sharon is the founder of Global Healing Exchange. You can work with her on her Emotional Freedom Program here.

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