I want you to close the door, get yourself into the mood, turn off the iPhone, draw the shades, put your feet up, let yourself breath, then feel and imagine the words that you are about to read.
“Self Worth Comes From One Thing—Thinking That You Are Worthy” – Dr Wayne Dyer
Setting the scene! You are amidst a lush tropical island resort, your own private hideaway.
You are lounging on a soft comforting bed, a soft pink floral print is luxuriously wrapped around you, your head nestles on cloud soft plumped pillows, the turban towel covers your hair, having just finished soaking in a glorious bubble scented bath.
Ever so frivolously strewn across the bed are delicate rose petals and they have spilled over the bed and onto the floor.
A bottle of champagne (or sparkling water?) sits on the night stand in a frosted ice bucket, the tinker of ice crystals as they quickly melt against one another.
Your head is feeling light and giddy, a glass gently clasped in your hand, now empty.
In the background the ever so gentle sultry voice of Barry White, floats through the air, the warm soft breeze drifts through the room and makes the delicate sheer curtains, that hang loosely over the rafters of your bed sway gently.
You’re eyes glow softly from the illuminated candles that are scattered around the room, flickering from the soft breeze.
You’re feeling relaxed, pampered and oh so good. Your chest gently rises and falls as you breathe gently, and it tunes in to the emotions you are feeling and the thoughts of the day.
Now in this moment the sensual smells from the ocean to the fragrance of abundant tropical flowers fills your nostrils heightening your senses.
Adjacent from the bed a large mirror is displayed upon the wall, something catches your eye and ever so slowly as you lift yourself up the vision of a magnificent, powerful, beautiful, attractive, loving presence fills the room it actually takes your breath away, but no it’s not Ryan Gosling, George Clooney (or whoever you were imaging) …. this loving presence is You!
Whhaaattt you say, you were envisioning someone else. Hard to picture yourself that way? Have I got your attention? Good. Guess what, this is a romance novel of a different kind.
What Is Self Love?~ Forensic Healing System~Emotions
We have strong opinions of ourselves. We can be our own worse critics. We treat our minds with our words, our bodies with actions and our soul with our beliefs. We may never be enough, have enough, look the right way.
We look in the mirror and what we see may not add up to the person we feel. The accumulation of our life comes from our experiences.
If you we were brought up in an environment where it was deficient of love, appreciation, nurturing, recognition of worth, then how you feel about yourself may be totally off balance.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to be arrogant, self-centred or down right egotistical. It’s having a healthy positive self-regard and knowing how you interact with others can contribute to the effect you play in people’s lives.
Loving yourself is the most fundamental relationship you can have, as this is essential in creating positive relationships with another person.
How would you like to be treated by others? Of course you would say, with respect, appreciation, positive, support, kindness and love. Someone who has low self-worth, would not feel these words resonate with them easily.
They may be more generally critical and highlight their flaws. Self-worth or self-love is an important aspect to living a balanced life.
Not everyone has a distinctive characteristic of high self-esteem or self-love.
A person can feel inadequate in either social skills, physically, intellectually their relationships, emotionally or spiritually. It is your birthright to nurture, honour, respect, cherish and appreciate you.
What Are Signs And Symptoms Of Low Self Worth?
- Being critical of themselves
- Not feeling loved
- Inferior to their peers
- Negative self talk, self-blaming
- Hard to accept compliments
- Loss of power, the victim mode
Negative Consequences Of Low Self Worth
- Relationship problems; sacrificing themselves, accept unreasonable behaviour, believing they must earn love
- Being self-critical which makes them feel depressed, feel anxiety, guilt and shame
- Fear of being judged; becomes self-conscious, cannot engage with others very well, and feels they are not liked
- Low self-worth can lead to bullying to gain power in a relationship
- Self neglect; letting your appearance go, destructive self patterns of smoking, drinking.
Some Causes Of Low Self Worth
- Being in an abusive relationship, unhealthy negative friend, spouse, parent
- Medical problems, illness, pain, disabilities
- Mental issues of anxiety or depression
- Unhappy childhood, teachers, peers, being criticised
- Poor achievements academically, unsupportive teachers or bullying
- Stressful life events
Self Worth Affirmations
These are a selection of self-worth affirmations that are used;
- I choose to accept myself as I am
- I deserve love and respect
- I choose to approve of myself
- I choose to make friends easily
- I choose to give to myself first
- I see the beauty in myself and others
- My self-worth is Infinite
Loving Yourself Again
You don’t quite need to create the scene as described at the start of this article, in loving yourself, (but if you do, good for you!) Though indulging in self nurturing habits such as time for yourself, massages, meditations, quite reflective time can be ideal.
We have all felt at one time or another moment’s in our lives where we have lost our sense of self-worth and love, believing that we can get it…….
You can read the FULL version of this article in our quarterly eZine, ‘Holistic Living Magazine,’ look for Edition 6 on this archive page. There’s many more articles about self love waiting for you too!
SHONA RUSSELL – Forensic Healer