I found that I was not ready to let go of my boyfriend when he was dying after a six-year battle with cancer. The words he said to me approximately two weeks before dying were, “You have to let me go.”
He had chosen to return to Belize, the country where he was born, for the last month of his life.
I was busily flying in and out of the country, completing a graduate degree, and working. Weekly, it was a battle to take the TPN, IV food, into the country because I knew that was the only thing truly keeping him alive. His pleading words still resonate with me.
How often do we continually hold onto a loved one who is dying, a sick pet, a bad relationship, a dreaded job? We don’t want to let go; we fear the unknown.
Life is about letting go of certain feelings, relationships or situations and having faith that we will end up where we need to be.
Martin Luther King Jr.’s quote says this best, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.”
This has been one of the toughest concepts for me to learn due to my constant need to have control over every aspect of my life.
The need to control everything in our lives can have a negative impact. It forces us into a box where each day we have to be able to control our thoughts, actions and relationships. Do we miss out on other possibilities because we continually want that control?
The lesson my boyfriend taught me is that it isn’t all about me. Our lives are impacted positively each and every day if we are open to the possibilities. Faith is about being open to something more in this world.
Sometimes our future isn’t clear but faith allows us to take a step forward knowing that we are part of a greater good.
Faith allows us to commit to a picture of our lives that may not always be clear. It allows us to let go of the control for a little bit knowing that we are connected to a higher purpose.
If you are a person who needs to be in control at all times, I have included a few tips that might help you relinquish that need and lead a life filled with more possibilities, passion and excitement.
Control is not all bad because it can help keep us focused towards our goals but we have to know how to use it and when to let it go.
1) Take little steps at a time. Don’t expect to go from having to control everything to letting go and living your life on faith. The first step might be letting go of some of the feelings.
Oftentimes, those of us who have a need to control much of our lives also like to control our feelings. So many possibilities exist for each of us every day. Remember, life is about developing relationships, helping others, and making the world a better place.
2) Dream a little bit. Do you have everything you want in life? Are you fulfilled in your life? Is there anything more that you want out of life? If you feel that you want more out of your life, dare to dream.
Dreaming can be counterintuitive for those of us who like to control our lives. It involves stepping outside our normal every day existence and daring to have more. It may be in the form of relationships, a career, or a situation.
3) Turn the situation around. Are you considering the situation or relationship from a place of fear or courage? Fear can drive us to control our lives because we always feel limited and powerless. We never see that there is a greater calling for us.
Letting go of the fear and operating on faith takes courage because sometimes we don’t know the result. We can’t always script the ending to every situation or relationship. Taking a step in faith is difficult but many times worthwhile.
Life is a journey that is interconnected with other people, places and situations. If each of us tried to control all aspects of our journey, I suspect we would all be very frustrated.
Today, take a step of faith and be open to the possibilities that abound. Our journey is guided by a greater good so let go and enjoy!
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Allison E. Turner