Nobody likes feeling unappreciated in a relationship with someone he or she cares for. Even fewer people like not being in a relationship. This is often the reason someone might put up with being treated unfairly. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that you are better off alone compared to a harmful relationship. Here are some pointers to help you ease into ending such a relationship.
1. Stop Trying To Change Your Partner
More than likely you’re just waiting around for the impossible to happen. It’s one of the more common mistakes people make in toxic relationships. You have to accept that the only person in this world you can change is yourself. And one of those changes is giving up on changing someone else. All effort you exert to try and alter your partner is pointless.
If they are unwilling to own up to their mistakes and behavior, your words won’t matter all that much. Change has to come from the inside, and it is an active process that can’t be forced. It’s completely understandable that you want to see the best in someone. Unfortunately, the best might not exist in this particular person, and you have to wise up to that fact. Some relationships are irreparable.
2. Realize You Deserve Better
Loving someone isn’t enough if they aren’t giving you that same love in return. No matter how much effort you put in, it won’t ever be worth it. There’s no reason to continue going down the same path. Any time you waste with the wrong person is the time you could be having with someone who could be right for you. It might take a while before you come to this realization.
It’s easy to give up on the idea that someone out there might be right for you. This is because the toxic relationship will often leave you drained of self-esteem and confidence. After leaving, it will take a while for them to regenerate, but they will. It might take some time before you meet the right person, but any time outside of a bad relationship is still very good for you.
3. Realize That Happiness Is Within Your Control
Force of habit is a dangerous part of the human mind. Spending a lot of time with someone will accustom your brain to thinking they are an irreplaceable source of good feelings. Often after a relationship, you will feel hopeless and think that happiness is not something you can have again. This, of course, is an illusion. It’s simply your mind playing tricks on you, telling you it wants instantly good feedback.
Finding someone else is still possible. You just have to disregard how you feel at the moment and put yourself out there. The sooner the better. Hit the clubs or have your friends set you up with someone they know. If you find meeting new people stressful in person maybe you could turn to internet dating. As experts from an Australian dating agency point out, online dating might decrease your chances of having a terrible first date or wasting your precious time. There are some excellent matchmaking agencies that will connect you to someone who shares similar interests. You can see if it will work out with someone before even meeting them. It’s not for everyone but it might be worth a try.
4. Come To Terms With Ending It
It’s not going to be easy sailing from this point on. When any long-lasting relationship ends, it’s going to leave a mark. Especially if you weren’t in the best mental state during the said relationship. Knowing what to do afterward is tricky. Do you stay strong and power through it? It’s your decision, but some find this method to be ineffective.
Might as well release the pain and come to terms with it. Holding it in and being tough might just delay the inevitable. You’ll find that crying is one of the first responses you have. Any reminders you have of good times with that person will cause painful feelings and lots of crying. This is a natural response and should be encouraged. After crying you will feel slightly better and you’ll have more clarity to think. Crying can help with the healing process this way.
It’s not easy ending something you put a lot of effort into. Change is scary for a lot of people. Sometimes it’s absolutely necessary, though. Staying in a toxic relationship will do you no good in the long-term. It’s best to quickly rip off the band-aid and deal with the temporary pain. Feeling bad is the natural response and you must come to terms with it and do what’s best.
Mia Johnson is a freelance writer with a ten-year long career in journalism. She has written extensively about health, fitness, and lifestyle. A native to Melbourne, she now lives in Sydney with her 3 dogs where she spends her days writing and taking care of her 900 square feet garden.