Grieving With An Open Heart: Accepting What Is


Preparing to write this article, I came across the definition of ‘Emotion’ by the Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries Online, which closely relates emotion to love. This made me smile instantly, as it is my truth also.

For the last 20 years, I have learned so much about personal growth, ego, fear, anger, love and many shades in-between, and I experienced all these emotions myself. This won’t stop while I am in my physical body, there will always be emotions running through me.

With all my studying and learning, I have found ways to work WITH my emotions, rather than fighting any of them, which helps me immensely when I feel a wave of ‘something’ surging through me.

Love has been my side-kick for a long time, and I am so grateful for allowing this particular emotion to become my main partner in life.

As you might know, my dear soulman died in April 2014, and I stood in this unexpected situation with a strong core of love and connection to my man’s soul.

Still, the process of grief with all its different phases was new to me, and I walked my path with very careful steps, breathing through as much as I could, keeping clarity close by my side.

Listening to myself, being as gentle as I could, while continuing to live a ‘normal’ life was the task at hand, for myself and for my two children.

We went through an ocean of emotions, individual phases as well as collective family emotions. We have learned how to swim in this ocean, and by now are confident swimmers with some waves still crashing over us when we’re not aware.

I have strengthened my inner trust, my connection with my soul and my belief in myself and my abilities to deal with this life, and I am hoping my kids can build up on the foundation we have created together over these past two years.

As it is with oceans and waves, they are alive and in motion all the time. Sometimes, the waters are calm, and sometimes a storm ripples through and creates mighty strong waves.

Ebb and flow are continuous, and resistance is futile, as the rhythm of the ocean will never stop.

The currents change, and we might be carried to unknown shores. How we deal with these new shores is up to us, remembering what we have experienced to get us here is very helpful though.

Getting out of the water, shaking ourselves dry and standing strong in our core with clarity and love in our heart is a good starting point in any new situation.

Maybe we have been washed over by some of these waves of emotion, maybe we think we have lost track of where we are going and why, and maybe we are totally ok with where we are now. What’s next then?

You can read the FULL version of this article in our quarterly eZine, ‘Holistic Living Magazine,’ look for Edition 7 on this archive page.  There’s many more articles about emotions waiting for you too!

Barbara Patterson – Conscious Awareness Teacher



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