We all know emotional abuse does not actually kill us physically but it does exactly that to us mentally. It eats away at our self esteem, self worth and self love.
Eventually we feel like we are worthy of nothing and we don’t feel like we are valuable enough to live the life we are living.
So many of us go through life achieving big results at work but feel like we don’t deserve what we have achieved, we feel like a fraud and feel like we will get ‘found out’ (this is called the imposter syndrome).
I wonder how many of the people with this syndrome have suffered from emotional abuse in their lives.
The impostor syndrome is common among high-achieving women, but there is some evidence it occurs in a comparable number of men as well.
The impostor syndrome, sometimes called fraud syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalise their achievements.
Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck or good timing.
Psychological research done in the early 1980’s estimated that two out of five successful people consider themselves frauds and other studies have found that 70 percent of all people feel like impostors at one time or another.
Now this is a VERY high number of people.
Here is a great study to read that shows a study of the relationship between self-esteem and the impostor phenomenon.
Someone who sufferers from lack of worth will feel like they are not good enough and feel like a fraud. They do not see what they do as valuable and don’t feel like they did anything deserving of recognition.
I wonder what the people with high self esteem, self worth and self love say about themselves? Do you think they know they deserve what they achieve? Of course they do.
After all, it is a dog eat dog world in the corporate world and you don’t get promotions unless you deserve it.
So What Can You Do About It?
We can start by looking at your thought processes to find out why you feel like you do not deserve the life you have. I wonder if we really searched what we will find.
The goal is to help the person recognize and avoid negative or destructive thoughts. Once the person is able to recognize these thoughts, he or she can learn how to match the thoughts with reality and become aware of flaws in his or her thinking.
Then he or she will be able to make conscious choices in their thinking to start to value and love themselves in order to feel deserving. This takes away the anxiety and stress of being found out and replaces it with happiness and a feeling of value.
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If you would like to learn more and work with me one on one I would love to work with you. I am passionate about people having a voice, being heard and creating the change you want in your life.
You can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org to see how I can help you. Sharon is the founder of Global Healing Exchange. You can work with her on her Emotional Freedom Program here.